Back on Food

A meal I made Scott or he made me
I can\’t remember. We always cooked for each other
After coffee with my sister, today is the first morning I cooked something for myself to eat. Since, Scott died, I\’ve eaten barely a half banana, coffee, and as much water as I can drink (Scott always reminded me to drink water, stay hydrated). Two or three days after Scott died, I ate a cup of noodles (cup of noodles was his easy to go to food). Then I ate a part of the blackberry pie that I bought for us. He loved pie. He always reminded me that he didn\’t like cake, he liked pie.
I didn\’t think about eating any of these things. They were the only food items, I was drawn too. Oh that\’s right, Scott always had to have bananas. It was a staple. 
That\’s the thing, I don\’t think, I\’m just guided to what I need. Whispers and nudges. Whispers and nudges letting me know what to do next.
I haven\’t cooked since Scott died. I made him breakfast for lunch the day he transitioned.
This morning, I wanted to eat real food. I had a craving for an egg sandwich. I got the frying pan, turned up the flame, added some butter, pulled the parmesan cheese from the frig to add to the top of the egg, I toasted an english muffin. As I sat down to eat my breakfast with a glass of water, I realized this is what Scott ate every morning. An egg sandwich. He made them himself at six am.
I rarely ate egg sandwiches in the morning, unless we were on the road. The eggs were always too rich for me. Eggs were a brunch item. I had my coffee and something sweet, a muffin or a piece of toast when I got up.
Breakfast was the one meal we didn\’t share. We always sat together for lunch and dinner. Scott insisted and I agreed to share our meals together. It was a time we could talk and enjoy our food together. Rarely, did we miss a meal together.
The second date I had with Scott, was the next day after we just met.  He called and asked me if I would meet him while he was on his lunch hour at a local park. Excited to see him so soon again, I made us lunch and brought it. I loved making him lunch. From that day forward, I made him lunch every day and brought it to him on his lunch break for a couple of months until he quit that job and moved in with me. 
Scott cooked for me too. He cooked making something out of nothing. I would look in the frig and cabinets and  say \”there\’s nothing to eat\”.  Within an hour, Scott made something good and there were more than a few times, he made something outrageously good from nothing. 
That\’s what Scott could do, he didn\’t need much to make it good. 


Published by As the Road Wanders

Travel Blogger and Traveler

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