I am leaving the mountain within the next few days.
I feel that it is time.
I guess, a part of me, a big part was trying to hold onto the life we had here together. The walks, the meals we shared, our talks, sharing our dreams, sleeping on our bed under the stars and the moon, the animals that live here, my family close-by.
Another part of me, maybe so deep, I couldn\’t see it, was waiting for him to come back here physically. Like, maybe this is a bad dream and I will wake up, and it will be over. Scott will be here. Just in time for us to pack and go on our next adventure.
Scott is not coming back here to the mountain.
I am leaving the mountain and taking him with me. He is a part of me now and will always be.
And so the next part of the journey goes right back to the beginning, the start of our relationship and our adventure together.
I am returning to the Sonoma Valley, here in Northern California. Just a few hours away. I will float there between family and friends, grateful for their hospitality, until the next step emerges.
Today, I took a bath. I cried and cried. The sun shone a bright light into the window. Almost a white light. And I heard Scott\’s voice inside me say.
Go to Sonoma.
An answer will come to you.
I am one to always try to make things happen. I was always the one trying to push things along. Scott would stop me in the midst of trying to force things. He would tell me to just let it go, enjoy what is, and it will all unfold as it needs to.
So here I am, trying my hardest not to make something happen. And yet things are happening, I am heading to Sonoma to rest, walk, write and wait for the answer.