Hotel Room SFO
This morning I spent several hours sending out emails and exhausted myself trying to make something happen. There is no rush. I don\’t need to make anything happen. It\’s an old habit that is hard to get rid of. When I don\’t know what the future is and I\’m not practicing being in the NOW, I spin around trying to force things and it doesn\’t work. Either, I pick an option that is not good and have to try to get myself out of it or I can\’t find the signs right in front of my face, the subtle signs that you can only see when you slow down and stay in the NOW to access them.
I do need to do my research.
I found the best way to get where I need to go today was to call my sister (thankful for my sister) to see if she would like to drive me to San Francisco International Airport, no pressure.
She did. She wanted to see me before I left the bay area. She saved me hours of bus time and more importantly I treated her to a bento box at a Japanese Restaurant on Bush St in San Francisco that was affordable and really, really good. We had a great conversation while enjoying our food. I hope she will pursue her dream of taking a trip to the desert. I would love to trip around there with her.
After lunch and checking in at the hotel at the San Francisco International Airport, I spent a couple of hours navigating the airfare. I want to fly somewhere and hang out until the signs and answers surface to help navigate where I am headed for the next two to three months. I was tempted to book Hawaii, but you have to have a negative COVID test to land there otherwise you are stuck in quarantine at the hotels. There are rapid tests available, but the appointments were booked up. I gave up. Too complicated and expensive right now to fly to the islands. I looked at more options and finally decided on San Diego. San Diego, where Scott and I were headed before he crossed over. Scott wanted to take a month off, check out the area, and walk along the beach.
As I booked my ticket, I could hear him saying \”Janet, just take the month off. Don\’t think about anything or try to make something happen.\”
In fact, that is exactly what I promised him. Once, in San Diego, we would take the month off and I wouldn\’t spin and try to \”figure things out\”.
Tomorrow I fly to San Diego. I can\’t promise I won\’t try to make something happen. What I will try to do is minimize it and stay in the NOW.
Walking on the beach will help.