On our way downtown, I couldn\’t ignore the dozens of people, a rainbow of human souls tripping out on drugs, talking to the air, passed out on the sidewalks, ranting at antagonistic invisible opponents. There is a choreography embodied in my own being that instinctively knows how to move around them like I did as a child growing up in San Francisco. Only back then, it wasn\’t so much drugs, it was booze. Every few feet, a drama plays out. A Grub Hub bicyclist gets side swiped by an SUV, police car pulls over, pulling witnesses to the side like a normal day at the office. My eyes are not big enough or focused to take it all in no matter how hard I try not miss anything.
The traveler in me loves it, even the thumping noise, the car alarms constantly going off, the honking and beeping, the constant play of bad music recycling on the same loop pounding out notes that make the skin on your arms crawl as you walk by buildings falling into decay until they are refaced and birthed into something else.
I can feel my spirit jumping up and down inside like a child. More. More. More. My soul sits back like a quiet zen master living inside a deep green forest, untouchable. The human, my human wants to find a quiet place to retreat to, to keep the nerves from going on edge, the mind tries to race fearful of this kind of living, life. What kind of life is this, and oh no what if. What if this was my life? The forever judge of a situation, always fearful of the consequence of choice calls witnesses preparing a case.
The mid-day stop was vegetarian ramen, rice bowls and beer. It\’s overcast, grey, murky, and gloomy out. This seems like the perfect choice and it was. After lunch back in Koreatown, I am going to finish up this post and try to find my inner peace in all of this by reading one of my dream books. The only nature I\’ve been close to his human nature, pigeons and a pair of crows or two.
I can feel the loss, deep in my heart of the tuning out, the constant chaos and noise, and scramble shutting out voices of animals and trees, flowers, and honeybees, coyotes and bear.
It\’s really not enough to just see the spirit animals painted on murals and spelled out in graffiti. My hope is the animals, nature are truly not forgotten, just lost in the business of loud competitive dreams cascading and drowning out the quieter ones of peace, harmony and a sense of serenity.