“Dust on my way, moss on the wild stone-soot on the old wood-time is not flowing, The unlimited is concentrated-above my head, the thundering sound of passing wings.”
– The Collected Poems of Thich Nhat Hanh in Call me by my True Names
I am flipping through Thich Nhat Hanh’s book of poetry and come across this passage. This morning I feel uninspired. Tired.
I have landed.
Last night, I made the big decision to live in Sonoma County in the San Francisco Bay Area (my home since my birth) and travel from here.
I will no longer live on the road. I will continue my travels from a home base. I am renting a room in a comfortable house with community.
Here. I will have the space for my books, my studies, my altars, camera, journals, and gifts I find along the path. I will no longer have to live out of my backpack.
This brings me a touch of sadness. One path has closed while I wait for others to open.
“You see the Universe as the unlimited, abundant supply for your needs; you align yourself with receiving the highest solution at any given time. You stop groveling and pleading with others. You detach from how the answer needs to arrive and become wildly and totally open to the Divine.”
-Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver
As you can see I am in what my sister and I call the Abyss of Unknowing (by the way I deleted this podcast episode “Abyss of Unknowing” by accident and we will be recording it again with added stories later).
The Abyss of Unknowing is an uncomfortable state for me. I am more comfortable making things happen, moving, taking action, traveling, feeling passion, having big energy, doing something!
I am reminded of Scott’s (my partner who crossed over) advice to me “Janet, you need to get used to being comfortable with the uncomfortable”.
And so it is.